Best. Review. Ever.

February 6, 2009

So, after Ezra’s solo show we got this email in our Harpoons Gmail account. We chose to make his name anonymous. Here are some highlights, although we strongly suggest reading the whole thing:

“… we spent the first hour and a half waiting in the bar for Furman to call it quits.” – Cranky McFakename / Oak Lawn

“Good money down the tube, a date who is wondering if she is out
with a complete moron for picking such a venue/show, a splitting head
ache from both the vulgarity and the feedback humm, Oh what a night!!!” – Cranky McFakename / Oak Lawn

“In fact I am so shocked by his nervy insouciance, and that I almost didn’t notice that he only plays 8 chords” – Cranky McFakename / Oak Lawn

Good Morning -

Last night I spent some of my hard earned entertainment dollars to attend SPACE. I believe that I deserve a full refund.

I had hoped to impress a woman friend from Evanston,by choosing a fun venue close to her home on a snowy night.

But I wound up being genuinely shocked that SPACE
or anybody would book Ezra Furman for anything other than a college
house party with a bunch of rugby players who become giddy about
hearing the word “F#$%” so oft repeated.

Furman shows real talent when it comes to using this word so creatively.

Verb, noun, adjective, adverb, whatever, he’s a real maestro when it comes to swearing in front of a paying audience.

It must be comforting for him to know that when his songs? fail to
impress, he can reach deep into his trick bag and WOW the crowd with
the showstopper of showstoppers, the old reliable F-Bomb.

Wow didn’t expect that!

In fact I am so shocked by his nervy insouciance, and that I almost didn’t notice that he only plays 8 chords.

Obviously musical talent is subjective. So I will not argue that point.

But to actually sell tickets to see this foul mouthed drivel is ridiculous.

To pay to hear it is even worse.

I resent that SPACE
sponsored an act that ruined what was to be a fun night on the town and
did not include any information whatsoever on their webiste about the
vulgar nature of this show.

So we spent the first hour and a half waiting in the bar for Furman to call it quits.

Bring on Nicholas Tremulis Orchestra. Thank God, an actual group of musicians with that little pre-requistite called talent.

How do you ruin a good act like NTO?

Turn them up deafening loud and then make sure that there is a constant
humming buzz feed back loop in their sound system. Voila!!, you have
the perfect evening. I have seen NTO around town and heard them on WXRT
for years and I have NEVER been disappointed by any of their shows.

Good money down the tube, a date who is wondering if she is out with a
complete moron for picking such a venue/show, a splitting head ache
from both the vulgarity and the feedback humm, Oh what a night!!!

Because SPACE failed to mention the vulgar nature of Furman’s act? and because SPACE doesn’t bother to insist upon sound checks and eliminate little things like MAJOR FEED BACK LOOPS, I request that SPACE refund the money I spent for the show. As menitoned we entirely skipped the warm up act and them left NTO after 5 songs.

I have never requested my money back from any venue in my life. This is an actual first for me.

I have been to hundreds of concerts of all variety over the years, so I do not feel unjustified in this request.

If you are kind enough to honor this request and send me a refund, I
can use it to offset the cost for the chocolates that I will buy when I
beg forgiveness from the decent lady who was good enough to attend this
concert with me.

Thank you for considering my request.

Cranky McCrankster
Oak Lawn, IL 60453

4 Responses to “Best. Review. Ever.”

  1. Zach said

    Why did it take you so long to post my review? I spent HOURS slaving over that fucking e-mail…whoops, I said fuck. I better go write a long angry e-mail that lacks substance to myself.

  2. asdf said

    beautiful

  3. Felipe said

    i’m just mad i missed this show! I just heard about your band today and fell in love. Are you coming to chicago anytime soon?

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